A new children's book to be released on Mother's Day is causing quite a stir around the country. My Beautiful Mommy is a book written by a plastic surgeon and aimed at 4-7 year old girls. It depicts a girl experiencing her mom go through a rhinoplasty and tummy tuck. Its aim is to educate children as to what is happening when their mommy goes to a plastic surgery consultation and subsequently undergoes the above surgeries. The program Happening Now interviewed me and psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow about our thoughts on this book.
Here's my take: With the vast amount of plastic surgery being performed today, it's unfortunately inevitable that some children will be exposed to their mom (or dad) having work done. Because of that, I do think that some tool to help parents explain what's happening is a beneficial thing. I do not agree with how this book portrays plastic surgery, however, because it stylizes and glamorizes plastic surgery and makes it somewhat 'sexy' to have it done. The doctor looks like the cartoon Superman and the mommy looks like a supermodel who always wears belly shirts. IF we need to expose our children to plastic surgery, we should do so in a more medical, reconstructive, and restorative way. Instead of "Mommy is having plastic surgery to be prettier," it should be "Mommy is going to the doctor to treat the loose skin on her tummy to make it like it used to be."
Maybe I should write a book called My Mommy is Beautiful With or Without Plastic Surgery.
Thanks for reading.
Michigan-based Plastic Surgeon
Anthony Youn, M.D.:
hip hip hooray! this is a beautiful post. i'm 100% behind you and will buy your book the moment it comes out :)
ReplyDeleteBut if Mommy doesn't get plastic surgery, how will she get those Tinker Bell sparkles??
ReplyDeleteI think you book would sell much better and send a much better message then this one.
ReplyDeleteAfter "thinking about it" for 20 years I just recently had a septoplasty, turbinoplasty, rhinoplasty and alarplasty at Christmastime. My kids are 8 and 5 and they knew that mommy had "sinus surgery" - which I did. No other questions were asked and neither one of them (or anyone else for that matter) has mentioned the change to my appearance which to me is substantial.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, each individual determines the drama level of their own plastic surgery. I told no one outside of my parents and husband, filled out the disability/fmla paperwork at work (covered for the septo/turbinoplasty) and had the surgery.
Plastic surgery can be lifechanging - and it has been for me. Not in the "now I prettier and more popular because my nose is smaller" but in the way that I am not self conscious of it and don't mind having my picture taken. It is about changing my profile and looking more refined and less "horsey". It is about me, not the kids or everyone else. I am not ashamed, it just doesn't matter what others might think. Seriously, I waited 20 years for this!
The kids don't need a book about it. If you don't add drama and maintain a normal level of anxiety and appropriate expectations things will be fine. It would have been cruel and irresponsible to tell my children that "mommy is going to look SO different after surgery". My kids don't care about whether mommy has a big or small nose, but mommy does.
i think the fourth anonymous post hit it right on the nail. if plastic surgery is done well, i doubt that young children will even notice and adult friends and relatives may say (depending on the procedure): you look good; you look rested; have you lost weight? the biggest change should be in your self confidence.
ReplyDeleteI went on a trip this weekend to GA and stayed with my older sister. The only mirror I currently have in my home is a medicine chest in the bathroom, but saw my full profile in my sister's mirror. Oh my gosh. Once again I'm reminded that I really want to have a tummy tuck. One day, if/when money isn't an issue I will certainly have it done. Perhaps even a little liposuction. I can't tighten loose skin or hide the stretch marks. With summer coming I'm embarrassed to wear a swim suit. I've already explained to my 7 yr old son that mommy wants to see her belly button again. I'm exercising now too for my weight and my health. You probably won't hear that side in a kids book. :p
ReplyDeleteThats right. The book should be called "My Mommy is Beautiful with or without Plastic Surgery"
ReplyDeleteAnd Anon (post #4) was just about as accurate as a person can be. Kudos to you and your new self-esteem, you deserve it.
A good argument for book burning.
ReplyDelete:(
Advanced addition :))
ReplyDeletehttp://plasticsergeant.com/home/plastic-surgery-humor/plastic-surgery-humor/are-you-my-mom
That's not a book, its a shameless, mercenary attempt on part of that 'doctor' to further normalise cosmetic plastic surgery and hence boost his own hip pocket in the process.
ReplyDeleteIts sickening because its presented as altruism when the truth is quite the opposite.
I believe this book is no worse than anything else our media will cover. That said, I plan on having plastic surgery in a few years once I am done having children... I am not afraid of the word "prettier" either, what is wrong if mom wants to be prettier? Doesn't she have the right?
ReplyDeleteLOL. I bet all plastic surgeons are kicking themselves for not coming up with this one first. Lots of media cverage ;)
ReplyDeleteit should be left to the parents to explain not a book but a good idea
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